Tuesday, November 22, 2011 @ 2:29 PM | leave a comment ( 4 )
I miss you. Every day. Not a day have passed when I haven't thought of you. How are you? What are you doing? Are you still the same guy I've known before? Do you ever miss me? Or do you even thought of me once after graduation? All those thoughts always run in my head. And sadly, I can't have the answer to even just one of them.
At first, I tried to understand that we were the kind of friends who prefer talking personally and not virtually. We never lasted a conversation online or through text but we always have the best conversations when we are together. And I have it proven, or I think I did, when we saw each other again at the graduation of the batch after us. I wasn't even gonna go talk to you because I don't know if you'd want to or what, but you were the one who called me and welcomed we with open arms. That felt so good. It made me feel still special. Like you never changed at all. Like we never even been apart for a year.
And so I concluded that we're really just like that. But now, all I know is that I'm confused. You always left me hanging in the air, or maybe I just had myself hanging. I was trying to go on with life as normal. I'd think of you every now and then, but it didn't hurt that much. Or so I thought.
Up until a friend's birthday, where I met a mutual friend. You were our common ground so it would be normal that he'd open up a topic about you. I can't remember the whole conversation but the one thing that stuck to my mind was when he said that you found a new friend from the uni you go to and that you said she was just like me. I don't know if I'll believe that or not, 'cause I've had my dose of hearing "what you said" about me from other people and not from you. And even if I believe it, I don't know whether to feel happy that somehow you still recognize me in other people or be sad that you've moved on from me and found a new "me" instead.
I don't want to be strangers again. But I don't know what life we'll bring. And maybe we, especially me, just have to accept that people come and go. Some stay and some leave. But I know myself that I won't ever, ever forget you and that special friendship that we had. Never.
"I think, that if life separates us, and we end up in totally different places, I'll always remember... and I'll be thankful for that. And hope that wherever you are, you'll be thankful too. And I think that's the best we can wish for." - Josh (Philip Wang, Wong Fu Productions), Strangers, again
I miss you...